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怎么样在独身旅游时交朋友 谈男女朋友

时间:2022-5-11 作者:洪恩少儿英语

When you are traveling solo, it’s not always a breeze to strike up a conversation with a stranger.

一个人旅游时,与陌生人攀谈并不一直那样容易。

In fact, how do you meet other single travelers or locals in the first place? And if you’re looking for friendship — or even something more — how do you ensure that amid all the fun you don’t neglect to take safety precautions?

事实上,第一个问题是:你怎么样遇见其他单身旅游者或当地人?假如你想交个朋友——甚至谈场恋爱——你如何确保在享乐的同时没忽略安全防范?

Before we get to tactics, it’s helpful to know that you are likely to be rewarded for overcoming apprehensions about approaching someone new when you’re on the road.

在大家讲述具体方案之前,了解下面这一点或许会对你有所帮:在旅途中克服接近陌生人的恐惧非常或许会给你带来回报。

怎么样在独身旅游时交朋友 谈男女朋友

“Its easy to imagine all the ways things will go badly or believe that this person doesn’t want to connect,” said Nicholas Epley, a professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. But if you reach out, he continued, “almost everybody reaches back.”

“大家比较容易去想像各种尴尬场面,或者觉得他们不想交谈,”芝加哥大学布思商学院的行为科学教授尼古拉斯·埃普利(Nicholas Epley)说。他继续说道,但假如你主动攀谈,“几乎所有人都会回话”。

Social scientists have found that making such connections, whether traveling or not, boosts happiness, and yet strangers in proximity “routinely ignore each other,” as Dr. Epley and his colleague Juliana Schroeder put it in the Journal of Experimental Psychology last year. During a series of nine experiments, they saw again and again that we underestimate other people’s interest in connecting.

社会科学家们发现,不管在旅游中还是平常,进行如此的交往能增加幸福感,不过就像埃普利博士和同事朱莉安娜·施罗德(Juliana Schroeder)去年在《实验心理学杂志》上说的那样,离得非常近的陌生人“一般会忽视彼此”。在一系列九个实验中,他们一再发现,大家低估了别的人的交往兴趣。

How to break the ice then? Dr. Epley suggests simply saying to that stranger on the bus or in the cafe: “Hi, I’m visiting. Can you tell me what I ought to see in town?”

那样怎么样打破沉默呢?埃普利博士建议,只用在公交车上或咖啡店里对陌生人容易地说:“嗨,我正在旅游。你能告诉我城里有什么地方肯定得去看看吗?”

“Everybody loves to brag about their city,” he said.

“大家都喜欢吹捧自己所在的城市,”他说。

Or offer a compliment, he suggested. “I think you’re just best off in your relationships if you’re transparent with people.” (This is not to gloss over any genuine concerns about talking to strangers, Dr. Epley said. But we’ll address those in a bit.)

他的另一个建议是赞美他们。“我感觉,只须你真诚待人,就必然会在人际交往中如鱼得水。”(埃普利博士说,这么说不是为了掩饰与陌生人交谈的真的隐患。不过大家一会儿再讨论那些问题。)

As experienced solo travelers know, opportunities for pleasurable connections are everywhere: trains, planes, parks, bars, museums, walking tours, group hikes. Yet should all that fail, technology provides seemingly innumerable ways to increase the odds. Obviously dating websites and apps like OkCupid and Tinder can facilitate in-person get-togethers around the world. Yet the travel industry has its own tools, designed not specifically for romance, but for friendship.

资深的单身旅游者都了解,到处都有跟人愉快交往的机会:火车上、飞机上、公园里、夜店里、博物馆里、徒步游览或集体远足时。但假如这类都没给你带来机会,那样科技好像能给你提供无数交往机会。显然,OkCupid和Tinder如此的交友网站和应用程序为在世界各地当面聚会提供了便利。但旅游业也有我们的工具,不是专为恋爱设计的,而是为友谊设计的。

I’ve previously written about some of these websites and apps, including Highlight and Planely. The app Skout enables travelers to meet locals or one another wherever they are, be it a concert in London or a soccer game in Barcelona. More recently there’s Tripr, which allows travelers to find others who will be in the same place. But if you’re seeking a like-minded companion, a couple of veteran sites deserve another look.

我之前写过如此一些网站和应用程序,包含Highlight和Planely。应用程序Skout能让旅游者与当地人或其他游客相聚——无论是在伦敦的一场音乐会上,还是巴塞罗那的一场足球赛上。Tripr是一款较新的应用程序,它能让将去同一个地方的旅游者找到彼此。但假如你想探寻志同道合的旅伴,有几个老网站值得你再去看看。

Unlike a lot of start-ups aimed at connecting travelers, Couchsurfing.com was founded in 2004 and has grown to some nine million members. You may know it as the purview of frugal travelers who see the world by sleeping on the couches and air mattresses of strangers, but it’s also a great way to meet other solo travelers and locals — even if you don’t crash on their couches. Some 120,000 cities worldwide offer weekly Couchsurfing art gallery tours, hikes, dinners or gatherings in coffee shops and bars. (Becoming a member of the site is free.)

与不少旨在把旅游者联系在一块的新应用程序不同,Couchsurfing.com成立于2004年,已拥有约900万会员。你可能以为它只不过给穷游者用的,他们通过在陌生人家的沙发或充气床垫上过夜来游览世界,但事实上它也是结识其他单身旅游者和当地人的好方法——即使你不在他们的沙发上睡觉。全世界约有12万个城市每周都举办Couchsurfing艺术馆参观、远足活动、咖啡店和夜店聚餐或聚会(你可以免费成为该网站的会员)。

In addition to joining events, you can also reach out to other members who have set their “hosting availability” status to “wants to meet up,” meaning that while their couch is unavailable, they’re happy to meet for coffee or be a resource while you’re visiting their city.

除去参加这类活动,你还可以联系那些把“招待”状况设定为“想会面”的会员,意思是虽然他们不提供沙发,但他们非常乐意跟你一块喝个咖啡,或者在你去他们所在的城市旅游时为你指点一二。

Another digital stalwart is VirtualTourist.com, which offers tips and reviews from fellow globe trekkers and has been around since 1999. That means you’ll find a true online community, a deep well of people with whom to interact. Members have profiles that may include photos, their hometown, travel interests and where they’ve been. Each member’s travel tips are tied to his or her profile, and should you like what you read or have questions, you can message the user. Who knows, maybe you’ll even get together offline. Once you’re on the ground in a city, you can meet dozens of people at once by attending a cocktail hour, group run, or tour through the worldwide events site Meetup.com.

另一个资深网站是1999年创建的VirtualTourist.com,它提供全球旅游者的小贴士和评论。那意味着你将找到一个真的的在线社区,遇见一大群可以交流的人。会员档案可能包含照片、故乡、旅游兴趣和去过的地方。每一个会员的旅游贴士都是和他/她的档案连在一块的。假如你看到喜欢的内容或者有的疑问,可以给那个用户发消息。哪个了解呢,你们或许甚至会在线下见面。你每到一个城市,只须参加全球活动网站Meetup.com组织的鸡尾酒会、集体跑步或游览,就能一下子遇见几十个人。

While meeting someone new is exciting and can be deeply fulfilling, such overtures must be balanced with safety measures. Even Couchsurfing, which refers to strangers as “friends you haven’t met yet,” has a page devoted to safety, warning members to trust their instincts (“If a person, situation or profile seems unsafe for any reason, move on. Don’t worry about seeming rude”) and know their limits (“Partying like a rock star might be fun, but it puts your safety and well-being in the hands of others”). For women, especially, the site advises being educated about your destination’s cultural and religious norms and to “be clear about your boundaries and don’t be shy about stating them.”

虽然结识新朋友让人开心,被人非常有收获感,但同时也应该注意安全。Couchsurfing网站把陌生人称为“你尚未见面的朋友”,甚至连它也有个页面专门讲述安全问题,提醒会员相信我们的直觉(“假如某个人、某种状况或者某人的档案由于任何缘由叫你感觉不安全,那样快点离开。不要担忧自己看上去非常粗鲁”),了解我们的底线(“在派对上像摇滚明星那样玩可能非常有趣,但也会把你的安全和健康置于他人手中”)。该网站特别建议女人知道目的地的文化和宗教习惯,“了解我们的底线,不要羞于表明我们的态度”。

At the same time, Dr. Epley said most people are not interested in taking advantage of you. “The person who wants to take advantage of you wants to find you immediately,” he explained. It’s different when you’re the one who decides to initiate a conversation. “When there’s random selection, you don’t have that risk of being targeted,” he said.

不过,埃普利博士说,大多数人没兴趣占你的实惠。“想占你实惠的人会立刻找上你,”他讲解说。而当你是主动攀谈的那个人时,状况就不同了。“若是随机选择,你就没被盯上的风险,”他说。

Solo travelers are often told to keep friends and loved ones informed about where they’re going and when (including the time they expect to return), know which neighborhoods to avoid, and learn local emergency numbers. Additionally, consider registering with the nearest United States Embassy or consulate at Step.state.gov/step. This allows the embassy to reach you in an emergency (natural disaster, civil unrest) and family and friends to contact you if there’s an emergency.

单身旅游者大多都了解,要让朋友和爱人了解我们的目的地和到达时间(包含期望返回的时间),要了解防备什么邻居,要了解当地的应对号码。另外,你可以考虑在Step.state.gov/step上向近期的美国大使馆或领事馆进行登记。如此,大使馆可以在紧急状况(自然灾害、社会动乱)下公告你,你的家人和朋友也可以通过大使馆联系你。

You may also want to memorize words such as “help,” “police” and “fire” in the local language, and have a plan for how you’ll get back to your hotel anytime you’re out after dark. If you are in a place where there’s no mass transit or if mass transit is not safe at night, have the number of a taxi service with you. If you use Uber, make sure the photo of the driver that appears on the app matches the face of the person who picks you up. Also, the Uber app has a “Share my ETA” option that allows you to send someone your whereabouts and estimated arrival time. (Before I even get into a car I send the driver’s name, car make and my destination to a friend or family member.)

你可能也需要记住用当地语言如何说“救命”、“警察”和“着火啦”,想好天黑后怎么样返回酒店。假如你去的地方没公共交通工具,或者公共交通在晚上不安全,随身带上一家出租车企业的电话号码。假如你用Uber打车,要看清来接你的人和应用程序上司机的照片是不是相符。Uber应用程序也有“推荐我的预计到达时间”这个选项,你可以把你的行踪和预计到达时间发给某个朋友(我甚至在上车前就把司机名字、车的品牌和目的地发给一个朋友或家人)。

The fear of strangers has deep evolutionary roots. Do not, Dr. Epley said, disregard your intuition. “Our research does not suggest that you should talk to everybody that you meet or that you should have the volume turned up to 11 in all your social interactions,” he said. It’s just that for most of us, “the dial for engaging others seems set a little too low. Nudge it up.”

对陌生人的恐惧有深刻的进化根源。埃普利博士说,不要忽略你的直觉。他说,“大家的研究并非建议你与所有遇见的人攀谈,或者在所有社会交往中过度投入”,只不过大家大部分人“与他人交往的信心好像有点不足。鼓起勇气!”

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