英语四级六级培训课程

儿子要成长,母亲应放手

时间:2022-5-25 作者:能飞英语网

A TOP parenting expert has warned mothers that being too possessive of their sons and not letting men be strong father figures can be detrimental to their boys’ upbringing.

一位高级婴幼儿教育专家提醒各位妈妈,对儿子的占有欲过强,爸爸高大的形象难以树立,会对女生成长导致不利影响。

The frank advice comes from parenting expert No?l Janis-Norton in her new book Calmer, Easier, Happier Boys.

这一直白的建议来自婴幼儿教育专家诺埃尔?詹尼斯?诺顿的新书《更冷静,更容易,更开心的女生》(Calmer, Easier, Happier Boys)。

According to the parenting and behavioural specialist and former teacher, fathers have much greater influence than mothers in shaping boys into well-adjusted young men – but too often mothers find it hard to back off and let dad take control.

据这位婴幼儿教育行为专家所言,相较妈妈这个角色而言,爸爸在儿子成长为有教养的青年这段期间,对小孩有着更大的影响。但更多的状况下,妈妈非常难放手,让其老公担任此责。

儿子要成长,母亲应放手

‘Without a strong father-figure, (which could also be a step-father or grandfather), boys may struggle to learn how to express their emotions constructively, how to handle their physical strength and learn to respect others – and themselves,’ Janis-Norton tells the MailOnline.

‘没一个强壮的爸爸形象,(也可以是继父或者祖父、姥爷),女生可能非常难掌握怎么样有效地表达他们我们的情感,怎么样去控制他们的身体力量与学习尊重他人和自己,’诺顿告诉《每天邮报》。

‘Mothers need to allow dads to be dads and to have their own relationship with their children – and in particular with their boys – without trying to micromanage,’ she says.

“母亲要让父亲有机会成为一个好父亲,让父亲和他的小孩,尤其是和儿子打造我们的一种关系,尽可能防止管得太细。”她说。

The parenting expert, who has been credited by the likes of Helena Bonham-Carter turning her family life around, also warns mothers about being barking too many orders.

这位婴幼儿教育专家还呼吁各位母亲们不要管太多。这位婴幼儿教育专家曾得到像海伦娜?伯翰?卡特如此的名人认同,她说她的家庭生活彻底得到了改变。

‘A boy will lose respect for the mother who appears to bossing the father around – or criticising him,’ she says.

‘假如母亲一直对父亲呼来喝去的,又或是常常责骂父亲,女生就会失去对母亲的尊重。’她说。

So when Dad gets little Tommy dressed in the wrong clothes, feeds him the wrong breakfast and then starts a pillow fight should Mum just look on through gritted teeth?

所以当父亲给小汤米穿错衣服,做坏早餐然后开始枕头大战的时候,难道母亲还是要咬牙切齿一言不发吗?

‘Yes – absolutely she should!’ says Janis-Norton. ‘And the gritted teeth part comes because mums assume they know best – but actually none of us is perfect. We’ve got weaknesses too.

“是的,她当然要如此!”诺顿说。母亲会对上述行为咬牙切齿是由于她们感觉自己了解如何做是最好的,但事实上人无完人。大家每一个人都有缺点。

‘We’re not doing it right all the time. So really we shouldn’t be judging the dads!’

“人总会犯了错误。所以大家真的不要质疑父亲的判断!”

Despite the title of her book, the Calmer, Easier, Happier Boys author, is at pains to point out that keeping calm is not always the goal. In fact, she actively encourages play-fighting for boys

虽然这本书名叫《更冷静,更容易,更开心的女生》,不过,该书作者煞费苦心地指出遇到事情冷静并不是其目的。事实上,她非常积极地鼓励男生打打闹闹。

‘Mums generally don’t have an interest in play fighting and they worry someone’s going to get hurt, or feelings will get hurt, or clothes will get ripped or something will get damaged.

‘母亲一般都对那些打打闹闹没多大兴趣。他们要么担忧小孩们身心受伤,要么担忧衣服被撕烂又或者东西被摔坏。’

‘But none of that is as important as boys getting their energy out and through play fighting they learn a lot about how to fight fair.

‘但任何事都比不上让男生们释放他们的精力要紧。在打打闹闹的过程中,他们可以从中学习到怎么样公平决斗。’

‘They learn how to control themselves, they learn how not to be too rough – and they also learn how to make amends if it does go too far.’

‘他们掌握怎么样去控制自己,怎么样去把握尺寸,当做错事后,也了解怎么样去弥补。’

‘Dads can teach boys all of that,’ she says but does advise that play fighting that is likely to become manic or annoy others in the house is best taken outside.

‘父亲们可以教女生们所有这类本领,’但她也建议,在家打闹容易使人变得狂躁并影响其他人,所以建议最佳选择在户外进行。

Vocabulary

back off:后退,让开

boss around:发号施令

play figh:打闹

grit:咬紧牙关

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